Why do you want to keep fixing yourself? Isn't the whole thing that you are already perfect and unconditionally loved?

Well, if everyone thought that, the coaching consultations wouldn't sell.

If people suddenly stopped looking for what's broken inside of them and started living the life as if they're already whole and enough - they'd become self-sufficient.
And in order to power the systems that the society created, we need to continue to pour our attention, money and energy into sustaining the consumption culture

And that is done by thinking that we are not ready yet. That there is something not well-cooked yet in our brains, and just a few more minutes until a toothpick comes out clean...
While you think that, you continue being passively integrated in a society. And society will keep you buying more of the same idea that you're not enough.

It's a cycle.

Here's a way out of it.
Whatever you think is not working - assume that you just don't see the full picture.

I thought that I never finish projects till the end. I would get frustrated that I'm not done with the painting in a couple of weeks & would throw it out.

When I once allowed myself to have the same canvas for months - I realized that my process doesn't include working on the same painting linearly. The painting will be complete - just not in the time that I thought it was going to.

You have your internal system. That works in your cycles.
You can arrange your life around them so that the cycles are not disrupted.

You want to start documenting your cycles on paper.

Except there is a problem with paper (thought I absolutely love it), it doesn't allow for a wide span of observations. You can't rearrange your entries (easily) in a way that allows you to notice repeating patterns that emerge after a couple of months documenting your thinking.

There are tools for this out there, currently I prefer Obsidian.

You want to document so that whats "outside" (on paper) mirrors what's inside (the system). I wish we could just take the consciousness and look at it, but all we can do is to see a reflection (words), analyse them (using systems thinking) & see patterns.

Once you see the pattern you
a) have a proof that there is cause and reason, and you're not just lazy or stupid or something else
b) you can change your environment (or behaviour) to stop interrupting the natural cycle of yourself.